What hurts?

We need to be having the conversations that hurt, that are hard that are uncomfortable. This is why the arts exist, but so often people are clouded by the the appearance that they don’t understand the substance. Be the substance. Consider it a gift to be able to express something that others feel is too hard to address. Help be the catalyst for change. This world bothers me so often nowadays, but I continue to pray and work on my gift so that people may, one day, understand. It’s time to have the tough talks.

So, in trying to keep my own word-what hurts? What would you like to talk about that is hard?
For me, right now, the self hate, the ignorance and naivety to the trials our fellow brother and sister are having all over the world and at home hurts. Why is it that there is still so much animosity towards people of color all over the world? Why is it that so many of the most judgmental people are the ones who call themselves christians? Why did it take me almost 30 years to truly love myself for all that I am? Why is it that people are no longer compassionate? Why don’t people care? Why can black men and women be denied so much in this country? Why is education a business and not a resource? Why is there still so much hunger in our country and so many who cannot read these words? Why is it that we care more about a celebrity wedding than the betterment of our future?

Grown up things… Kinda

In dealing with life, and you deal with it if you are alive, whether we like to or not, we deal in relationships. Everything we do has an affect on someone or something else. 

Let me say that again…

Everything we do has an affect on someone or something else. 

I’ve never had very healthy romantic relationships, and I’ve had some very unhealthy friendships (which are relationships please remember). Much of that has to do with me not understand what I, my emotions and my time are worth. I believe in our call to love people in this world, no matter who they are or what they believe, and sometimes you may dislike a person very much, but you can still love them. We need to learn to understand our role in our relationships, and step out of ourselves to try and understand what the other party is observing, going through or challenged with. 

My belief is if I am trying to be a good person, and treating you with respect, then our relationship has a healthy start. Now, if you can do this for me, and try to be a good person, then we have a healthy foundation. 

But what happens when something goes wrong? 

If you respect that relationship, you don’t just run away. First of all, YOU MATTER-ESPECIALLY TO THE PERSON YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY FROM! We may run away for many reasons, but we often run when we are afraid, when we do not understand how to handle a situation, or when we do not have control. I put that in bold purposefully. We will never have full control over our lives, what we do have control over is the way we react to situations. That shows who we are a person. 

If you respect the other party in your relationship, you do your best to communicate everything in the situation. Some may say that’s wrong, but I think we’ve learned many social “norms” because of people wanting to be in control. Relinquish that control and listen and be in the moment. 

It is my duty as a friend to love on you, and as my pastor said this sunday, to “put on Christ” to aid you. 

Can we learn how to love again? Not just that disney love, that real, everyday love and passion that creates stronger nations and beautiful cultures and a world of hope and peace. Can we? It starts with you and your relationships. What can you do to better yourself, relationship, situation and this world? 

I love you.